PURPOSE
The last day of the year 2004. This thing about ‘losing direction’, ‘not having a definite plan’, blah blah blah… It all boils down to the same issue — purpose, which I’ve been raving about and agonizing over in the past week. Lanz shares the same sentiment. Don’t we all, at some point in our imperfect life, ask about the purpose — our purpose, of living? The question itself doesn’t even present itself right away. It just comes as vague, unsettling, disheartening, undefined feeling or thought muddling your already cramped mind.
I get disappointed easily. When I realized I couldn’t do what I’ve already set my mind on doing, it shatters me. But I bounce back fast and find something else to focus on. Does it show I hadn’t been attached to the previous goal? I guess so, and it’s good. I won’t be hurting long for not getting it.
We outgrow our feelings. When I just came back here, I wanted to buy a new mobile phone right away. The desire to have one stayed for months. That was four months ago. I still want a new one but the urgency is no longer there. First things first. We learn to set aside unimportant ones and bring forward more significant ones. It’s like getting rid of unpleasant people in your life and forming better relationships with the worthy ones.
*journal entry of December 31, 2004 ; 0023hrs
