WHO’S GONNA HUG AND REASSURE ME?
I was on the phone with mom an hour ago. She’s in her hospital room, been there for over a week. They’ve been running tests on her for the blood clot in her stomach and her heart ailment. Nine months ago, I got this terrible feeling of utter loneliness when she was in the Intensive Care Unit for several days. Her heart almost gave up. When she pulled through, she was ready to give everyone up if her family don’t stop bugging her to go back home to the Philippines where we think she can be well taken cared for. Her words cut through to the bone, my heart bled for her. I, too, almost gave up on her, with her kind of attitude.
I’ve been grieving for her for many years, I said that no news about her could still shock and shake me. I thought I had come to terms with her. I’m gravely wrong. We can never come to terms with the people we love, simply because we love them. Anything that has got to do with mom affects me. I know my dad feels that way towards her, too. I had to call him up often to reassure him that mom’s doing good and everything’s well taken cared of. The same reassurance I give to mom about dad. His second stroke earlier this year (a month after mom’s previous hospitalization) really got her worried, affecting her recuperation.
My being in Canada now and my mother on that Los Angeles hospital bed, made me fully realize her point. She made the right choice in staying put where she is. And I thank the American system for taking care of its citizens, for giving my mom the best quality medical care, for prolonging her life and making it a little more comfortable for her. What just breaks my heart is that I can’t hug her and she can’t hug me…
