LOSING CONNECTIONS
It is simply amazing what comes to light during casual conversations. What dear Ms loveLydia said on one of our recent chats about writing, trauma and relationships, jolted me. An issue which I had been trying to push way behind my mind reared its ugly head full blast, finally. It is heart-breaking all right but the pain is no longer as intense as before. I had long since conditioned myself for the inevitable. It was just a matter of ‘when’. . . the significant other becomes completely insignificant.
I learned not to expect much from anyone, saves me from a lot of frustrations. I hope… but not in vain. I am certain that regardless of how things would turn out, something will always make sense. What counts most is that I gave my best sweet shot and did my best graceful dance… a line of thinking that pretty Kim and Saintly-Santa-who-once-lived-in-a-Shanty-now-condo would agree on.
I trust, not foolishly. I put my faith, not blindly. I call the shots, this is my life… but I needed a knockerhead to pound on my wandering head. And Ms loveLydia’s there to turn the knob in my brain, put on a light overhead, shove me the perfect way, and hold a mirror in front of me.
OK, that was just the right angle to pore over and ponder on. Right on target, right on time.
November 15th, 2007 at 7:08 pm
Everyone of us experienced a time when we know something inevitable will happen but we choose not to think of it. We prefer to say to ourselves to think of it when that inevitable time comes. As a popular saying goes, “let us cross the bridge when we get there.”
Oftentimes, an unavoidable event keeps flashing in our head but we keep on ignoring it. Maybe we evade thinking of it in hope that the said event will no longer come or we let go of it because we don’t want to be depressed (this is especially true when the inevitable event involves a relationship). Whatever our reason, we choose not to think of the inevitable event or let it slip away from our mind as part of our defense mechanism. Upon the other hand, sometimes we meditate on the said event in order to prepare for any contingency and plan the path of skirmish.
Whichever road we choose, let us be reminded that we are the lead actor of every chapter of our life. Let us just do our best and hope for the best.