Leaving A Trail

The 8th day of the 1st month of 2008 –the year of the Rat in the lunar calendar.  My year.  Hmmm… I can smell the cheese out there.  But this one’s been a hibernating rat who’ve waited till the 8th dawn of the year for the 1st blogpost.  But, hey, 8 is just the perfect number… 8 for infinity.  From finite hibernation, I could be writing to infinity.  From finite despair to infinite hope, finite anger to infinite love, finite expectations to infinite dreams and possibilities, ad infinitum…  No matter how long I lay my pen to rest, I still believe in the one powerful thing that anchors my sanity… writing.  The times I’m silent are the times ABC chaos swirl in my head, raring to escape, aching for freedom and clarity.

Home –I can find it anywhere, provided I take my heart with me.  I could be “home” with another soul for a fleeting moment… until Fate blows us to opposite directions.  The love I hold for that being will never be lost for certain but the expression of it probably will.  While I’m at it, I treat it as a life’s feast –devouring all, giving all… no limit.

I lost touch with Abest for months.  It stung for a while.  Had the connection been broken?  It sure felt that way then but the few exchanges of words recently dispel the doubts.  The connection wasn’t lost.  And there’s broAbear whom I had a fall out with the past year.  The phone call on New Year’s eve re-established the ties.  And mom’s surgery on that day.  A pacemaker and implantable defibrillator that regulate heartbeat became a permanent part of her.  I told her the doctor just wanted to make sure her heart still beats “Gor-yo… gor-yo… gor-yo!” :-)  for my dad when I talked with her over the phone and she expressed her fears on going under the knife.  Her heart’s as good as new.  The love’s always there.  My blood.  My ties.  My home.

When we lose sight of, we lose touch with, we lose someone, we move on… our heart will always find the way.

My nose will lead me to the cheese.

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