TRANSITIONS
There are moments when we choose to shut ourselves out from the rest of the world, retreat in a corner and contemplate our… self. This is especially so when changes in our lives tend to overwhelm us, shake our “stable” world. We long for peace and quiet in order for us to listen carefully to that faint voice coming from the core of our soul, shutting up the screaming voices in our head. We keep our distance even from the people closest to us, believing that in silence and aloneness we will be able to function better –healing our tormented soul. Not really completely but it sure is a good start. We then seek another soul’s guidance when our heart and mind are willing and ready for it, we reach out. When we’re too upset, we don’t listen to reason, do we? We tend to be single-minded, refusing to believe anything but our own opinions and interpretations. When I’m in that state, I prefer to be alone and seek my way out of that one-track mind. It won’t take much long to clear the muck in my head and declare I’ve been way down in the dumps lately but am back on my steady cute feet and ready to kick butt again! Enlightenment would soon keep streaming in.
It isn’t hard to understand why some of us hold on tightly to things we’ve been used to and familiar about. We stick on situations we’ve grown accustomed to, no matter how intolerable it is. We stay with people we “think” we cannot live without. We settle for what is in front of us, refusing to take further step into unknown waters that could threaten to shake our social, psychological, and financial stability. We hold on… ad nauseam. Old ways, old behaviours, old relationships, old states of mind, old job, old situations –all fit comfortably in our lives like good old shoes. And like an old blanket, we find comfort and security being wrapped in it no matter how painful and “claustrophobic” it gets. We resist change even when we must change.
When you’re stuck in a rut because some jerk (like yourself:) had put you there, it is just you, and no one else, who can take you out of that rut. Cut the cord, sever the ties, run like the wind and don’t look back. As a movie goes on (as much as you want it to stop), life moves on. It pays way too good taking risks than lying comfortably still and watching the world go by. From changing jobs to changing partners, there are kind sweet souls who’d stick by you. For sure;)
Keeping away from my e-journal, life-changing events had been a-brewing. My silence alarmed dear Aunt “crazy crow” Candy (who sweetly calls me “my niece”) in Kamloops, my lovely family in Panama, old bestfriend docganda Reba and Abest. To borrow FGFV’s words: I am A-okay! I quit my job and found a new wonderful one. Cousinbears and I moved house again. THE magazine is no longer as it used to be. I no longer go online as often as before. New job, new home, new relationships, new situations, new writing habits, new frame of mind. And oh, a new haircut! I got rid of my long tresses. What would I need extra long hair for, anyway, when am losing hundred of strands everyday? Before I get totally bald, I had it cut real short am now more guapo than Senor guapo 
it only costed me a heavy heart and $20 parting with my dear old tresses. The payoff? A lighter feeling and fresher look and outlook… I’m getting rid of excess baggages one heavy stuff at a time I’d soon feel completely light I’d be floating with the clouds. 
*published in eFootprints Magazine (p.15;March 2008 issue;HK edition)
