Leaving A Trail

A family of five living in four different countries… just how far apart and scattered could one family get?  USA, Canada, South Korea, and the Philippines — nations that have been homes, albeit temporary, to my mom, dad, big brothers and me.  Just when we’ll be together in one roof again, we couldn’t tell.  The ache and pains, the hardships and struggles, the desires and longings… the sacrifices.  Spoken and untold, everyone feels it, knows it and acknowledges it… but we couldn’t do anything about it.  Not now though but soon we could… we’ll be one family in one home again.  Hope remains alive.

We rely nowadays on the telephone wires and the internet to connect to our loved ones.  Sometimes it isn’t much help though when you clearly hear the one on the other end of the line — so achingly close to your ears you want to rip the phone up and snatch him right out of it.  Or when you see your loved one onscreen so painfully lively and real you want to break the computer apart and grab her out from there…  Just to hug, to hold, and kiss her.  Longings unfulfilled, love unspoken, care and concern unexpressed have a way of hanging around and gnawing at you.  It hurts so much to want too much to be with your loved one but you possibly could not… Sometimes you shut down, you keep your distance and stay out of touch for the time being because you couldn’t stand the hurt.  You keep silent and hold everyone at arm’s length because you don’t want to get hurt further. In those times of silence you know deep down within that love is still there and forever will be there.  It’s just that you stopped expressing that love.  The time will come when you’re ready to reach out again… keep on. Keep on keeping on.  The love stays alive.

Working abroad — how many families had been affected?  Broken marriages and wrecked homes; broken ties and lost connections; strained relationships and irreconcilable differences. Physical distance widens the gap in emotional distance among those concerned.  There are times when a balikbayan comes home to his family of ’strangers’.  Or the balikbayan himself is seen as a stranger by his own family.  Everyone seems changed in the other’s eyes.  The awkwardness of suddenly being physically close to your mother, husband, father or brother after a decade of separation is not something we can easily deal with.  What happened?  What had gone wrong?  Has the connection been broken from the long years of separation?  Has the love been lost? Was the communication not adequate nor frequent enough to keep the love alive and stay emotionally connected?  One couldn’t help but feel out of touch, left out and disconnected from his own family when communication isn’t doing its part right… it’s not enough.  Get in touch more often.  Reach out some more.

No matter how your worlds change, how far you travel the world, how distant each one seems, when the right moment to re-unite comes… you’ll feel  whole, closer, and loved once again. Real connections do last.

*Published in TF Newsmag (September 2008 issue)

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